“It takes more than a minute just to boot up my laptop,” she complains.

“Two then. How fast can you find a pen and a scrap of paper?”

She laughs. “Okay, yes, I can commit to writing for two minutes in my journal every day.”

We smile at each other. She’s going to do it. Just like every writer I meet, she wants to do this, to be a writer, to write every day, to commit to it. We move on to negotiating time of day and location of her new daily habit.

This is my cheap and easy version of Julia Cameron’s Morning Pages: The Sexy Grammarian’s Daily Secret. Cameron wisely insists one should write daily, 3 pages, handwritten, and I like this prescription and use it myself. But I see value in guiding writers with baby steps sometimes. Flexibility and habit drive the Daily Secret.

You don’t like handwriting? Can’t read your own writing? Feel more comfortable on a keyboard? Fine. Do it on your laptop. Do it on your phone. I don’t care. Just do it.

You don’t have thirty minutes? How about twenty? How about ten? One? After two weeks or so, you’ll be scheming ways to extend it anyway.

Hate mornings? Got chaos? No writing desk? No privacy? Do it at bedtime, on your lunch hour, on the bus, in your car in the parking garage at the end of your workday. Anywhere, anytime, whatever it takes to get your daily dose of writing time. Let’s find what works for you.

The Two Rules:

1. It must be daily. Write every day, at roughly the same time, in the same place, and with the same tools, for some specific length of time or number of pages or number of words. The specific number fools us on the lazy days. We can say to ourselves, “C’mon, just fill your two pages and you can go back to sleep.” It works.
2. It must be secret. What you write must enjoy total privacy, so put a journal by your bedside or set up a locked document on your computer, whatever makes you feel safe writing anything that crosses your mind. The words you dare not utter, the feelings you fear expressing, the stuff you think nobody wants to hear will find its way to the page. Give voice to those secrets, and all the other writing—your business plan, your blog posts, your dissertation, your novel–will flow much more easily.

Note: The Sexy Grammarian’s Daily Secret offers a useful writing habit and has no relation to this cool Daily Secret site where people share the secrets of their cities.

Did you find this writing tip useful? Share it on Facebook or Twitter. How does your daily writing habit serve you as a writer? Leave a comment. Want to get this kind of help one-on-one? Contact The Sexy Grammarian for a free private lesson today!

The participants, 300 women who ejaculate with orgasm, agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

But what about parentheses? It’s called a parenthetical expression after all! Can we set off the same parenthetical expression within parentheses? And what about dashes? What’s the difference?

Sure, you could go ahead and use parentheses or dashes in the example above. It would look like this:

The participants (300 women who ejaculate with orgasm) agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

The participants–300 women who ejaculate with orgasm–agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

But it wouldn’t be quite right. Commas, parentheses, and em dashes each have their particular meanings.

Use comma to set off a parenthetical expression that requires only a slight break. That is, the parenthetical expression flows well as part of the greater sentence, as in our original example.

The participants, 300 women who ejaculate with orgasm, agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

Use em dash to set off a parenthetical expression that requires a strong break because it amplifies or explains something or because it is sudden:

The participants–we call them participants rather than subjects–agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

Use parentheses to set off a parenthetical expression that requires a strong break and is not  as closely related to the rest of the sentence:

The participants (further described below) agreed to an electronic chat interview and a videotaped masturbation session.

You can use all of these punctuation marks to set apart parenthetical expressions in your writing. Ask yourself, does this expression flow with the rest of the sentence? (Use comma) Does it add sudden amplification? (Use em dash) Or is it not very closely related to the rest of the sentence? (Use parentheses.)

The Sexy Grammarian offers Free Sexy Grammar Lessons as well as Private Lessons, Custom Edits, and Intimate Workshops for all kinds of writers. Get a Free Private Lesson today and watch your writing project explode!

In 2012, I promise to deliver more of what you love: More free Sexy Grammar lessons so you can learn the nuts and bolts of writing and get turned on at the same time. What does that mean for my year as a writer?

More research writing: I’ll sharpen my curriculum building skills, developing the most practical grammar lessons so you get more great tips like when to use lay and lie.

More creative writing: I’ll write more original and sexually explicit example sentences for grammar lessons like how to put an apostrophe on a penis!

More attention to my community: I’ll explore more ways to connect with you and get your feedback, just like Edith and Seth do it. When I improve my outreach, I get better at helping you improve yours.

So, what’s your resolution, and what does it mean for your year as a writer?

Me, recovering in my "2011 Winner's Circle" tee-shirt

NaNoWriMo 2011, day 23

Today’s personal word-count goal: 50,000

Today’s actual word-count so far: 50,413

Ahead or behind? Finished, baby. All done.

The Julia Morgan Ballroom, all lit up with busy laptops

I went stag to NaNoWriMo’s 2011 Night of Writing Dangerously, and I finished my memoir in 20 days, but I didn’t do any of that alone. I entered The Julia Morgan Ballroom Sunday night and found a cozy seat between a pack of three Canadians and a pair of lesbian figure skaters, all noir-costumed and jovial.

Noir drag, arriving stag

I leaned in close to my iBook G4 to listen for its bootup chime over the din of a few hundred assembled novelists tapping away at keyboards, but the Canadian on my left and the figure skater on my right both expressed concern when I sat back, the screen still black. “Is something wrong with your laptop?”

Chris Baty's avatar and me

Then he appeared, a tower above us, NanNoWriMo founder Chris Baty himself, looking exactly like his avatar, an image plastered all over this party. He asked the ice dancer and me, casually as a guy in a bar, how our nights were going. He crouched to catch our enthusiasm, and down on our level, he noted my idling laptop.

“Oh no!” he cried. “A down laptop!” And like the prophet he is, he placed his hands on my screen and asked, “Should we lay hands on it?”

“Yes,” I said. And I wish I could write that it sprang to life in that moment, but it took another ten minutes and help from all three Canadians for me to get into the game.

Writing with the Canadians

Rally hat for the final grand

The Canadians–friends of Community Liaison at OLL Sarah Mackey–knew everything. They told me about the free drinks and directed me to the bathroom, and they knew about the secret web of electrical outlets under all the ballroom tables. And they knew I was going to beat 50,000 words at the party. They could tell by my rally hat, which I put on to celebrate the last thousand.

Winning

And I did. The Canadians and the lesbian figure skating couple cheered for me, and I headed up to the front of the ballroom to ring the bell. Another writer beat me to it; she took the stage in a mighty leap and rang the bell high above her head, face beaming, dreadlocks flying, slinky dress shimmering. When she hopped down, I mimicked her exactly and inhaled the house-quaking applause.

Crowned

A beautiful volunteer directed me to fill out a form and then crowned me with a real, golden paper crown. Chris Baty shook my hand, and I reminded him that he’d seen me four hours ago like a brokedown jalopy on the side of the road. “And look at you now!” he said.

Today’s personal word-count goal: 43,329

Today’s actual word-count so far: 44,000

Ahead or behind? Ahead, hence the party break.

Years I’m Writing About: 2009-2010, on my Facebook Page you can contribute your own words about these years.

I suffered through the transition from week two to week three of NaNoWriMo, but yesterday I found comfort in a productive and entertaining writing date, in stumbling into a natural upswing in my storyline, and in finally fundraising my donation goal for the Office of Letters and Light. So I’m going to The Night of Writing Dangerously this Saturday night. See you there?

This morning, I woke up and  re-read how I handled the challenging days last year, which helped. Then I got a call from my wife: there’s an extra ticket to tonight’s fancy fundraiser! So I’ll be dining at a designer table tonight at DIFFA! See you there?

Looks like I’m taking a writing break to attend a couple of parties. And it feels good. I’m still committed to finishing by Thanksgiving, but maybe I’ll just extend the party break and finish before the month ends like everybody else.

Get a piece of the action. There are several ways to participate in NaNoWriMo. Support the do-gooders who run this free event online by making a donation to the Office of Letters and Light on my fundraising page. And visit the The Sexy Grammarian Facebook Page to contribute your own words to my daily word count.

Today’s personal word-count goal: 26,664

Today’s actual word-count so far: 27,226

Ahead or behind? Ahead! Keeping up with word counts has actually been EASY this year!

Years I’m Writing About: 1998-2000, on my Facebook Page you can contribute your own words about these years.

I’m a three-time NaNoWriMo winner, and I’m way ahead on my word count. How do I do it? Here are my top ten rules:

1.    Never erase anything. The only reason I ever move my cursor backward is to add a space between words that should have a space between them (see #2 below).
2.    If a word can be more than one word, I make it so. And I never hyphenate anything: bird feeder, grown ups, latch key kids, one hundred fifty eight.
3.    While writing, I try to actually write every single thought that crosses my mind, even thoughts like, “I don’t know what to write,” or, “Ugh, I can’t remember that word.”
4.    If I think of a better way to write something I just wrote, I don’t go back and edit. I write it again, even thrice, until I like it, and then move on. So the draft might read something like this: I skated down the big ramp, no I flew down the slope of the great cement ramp, no I thundered down the wide cement slope, the meanest ramp I’d ever skated, and then smiled for the reporters.
5.    I write long, episodic chapter titles. They help me remember what I’ve written at a glance, and the long title helps my word count. Example: Chapter Twenty Seven: In which the main character Tallulah chases her new beloved girlfriend into the burning village and helps her rescue a house full of orphans and two old blind men and then they have sex in an abandoned barn at twilight.
6.   Everything I need to draft this month starts in my NaNoWriMo manuscript. I draft blog posts like this one, important email, and thoughtful Facebook comments  in my fastest NaNoWriMo writing style  and then copy and paste them elsewhere for editing. Consequently, everything I’m writing this month becomes relevant to my current NaNoWriMo project.
8.    I overwrite. I explain things and describe things several times, especially if it’s a struggle or I really want to get it right. I can always remove the less successful sentences later.
9.    I tell everyone. I answer every “How do you do?” with an announcement or a reminder about this crazy thing I’m doing.
10.   I give myself pep talks and talk to myself, right in the manuscript: I am at 12,000 words! I am doing great.

Get a piece of the action. There are several ways to participate in NaNoWriMo. Support the do-gooders who run this free event online by making a donation to the Office of Letters and Light on my fundraising page. And visit the The Sexy Grammarian Facebook Page to contribute your own words to my daily word count.

Today’s personal word-count goal: 19,998

Today’s actual word-count so far: 17,620

Ahead or behind? Behind! I’ve got 2,378 words to write today.

Years I’m Writing About: 1991-1993, on my Facebook Page you can contribute your own words about these years.

In 2008, I participated in NaNoWriMo for the first time, and my life has changed forever. My 2008 novel is in its 5th draft now. I can see a light at the end of the revision tunnel.

I just revisited 2009′s manuscript for the very first time this August when I went to Hawaii, from whence one of that story’s main characters hails. I did some great research, but that manuscript still has a long way to go.

In 2010 I tried something different based on my own theory that you’ve got to write about 50,000 words to get 500 good ones. I wrote 50,000 words about my city’s pigeon population, hoping to edit them down into a 500-or-so-word children’s story.

This year, because I’m about to turn 40, and because Susie Bright‘s memoir really moved me, and because of some wise words from Jane Fonda and Julia Cameron, I’m writing about my life so far, a memoir, though Jane would call it a life review and Julia, a narrative timeline, not necessarily for publication but instead for my personal and creative use.

Get a piece of the action. There are several ways to participate in NaNoWriMo. Support the do-gooders who run this free event online by making a donation to the Office of Letters and Light on my fundraising page. And visit the The Sexy Grammarian Facebook Page to contribute your own words to my daily word count.

Today’s personal word-count goal: 9,999

Today’s actual word-count so far: 7,500

Ahead or behind? Behind! 2,499 words to go today!

Years I’m Writing About: 1984-1985, on my Facebook Page you can contribute your own words about these years.

This year I’m writing a memoir, one year at a time, a few years a day. Because I love gory process details from other writers, I’m sharing my strategy for this year’s project.

I made a chart that counts the days of NaNoWriMo—thirty of them officially. But since I plan not to write on weekends, and I plan to finish in time to enjoy Thanksgiving and relax for the rest of the month, I hope to write for only 15 days.
Today is day three, and I should have 9,999 words written. The chart says so. I have only 7,500 now, but I’ll make it up by the end of the day. The chart assigns a couple years to each day, and I’ve got a few notes for each year, stuff like my age and where I lived at the time.
This is quite different from what I did last year, writing with no direction most days. Pigeons—go! It’s also easier than what I suspect most WriMos try to pull off: figuring out an actual storyline. My chart tells me what year of my life I’m writing about today, and I start writing.

For inspiration, I have my short list of easy writing prompts, such as  “I remember . . . ” and “I loved . . .” and “____ influenced me.” I may reference Wikipedia’s historical pages to help me with context. I’m lucky to have an engaged Facebook community posting inspiring comments too.

On day one, Maureen Futtner of  PR for the People  reminded me that, “There was that bicentennial thing!” in 1975. Thanks, Maureen. On day two, my Kindergarten teacher commented that she thought I might have been a fairy in a former life.  Talk about creative fuel! My mother has posted a few dozen photos from my childhood, potent memory ignition.

So far, this year’s strategy works pretty well. I’m reaching my steep word count goals and having fun. I know of at least two WriMos who liked my chart well enough to make something similar for their own projects. I feel a sense of ease and support to write a 50,000-word memoir in less than 30 days. The future’s so bright, I have to prop an umbrella up on my desk to see my computer screen.

Get a piece of the action. There are several ways to participate in NaNoWriMo. Support the do-gooders who run this free event online by making a donation to the Office of Letters and Light on my fundraising page. And visit the The Sexy Grammarian Facebook Page to contribute your own words to my daily word count.

Today’s personal word-count goal: 3,333

Today’s actual word-count so far: 0

Ahead or behind? Behind! 3,333 words to go today!

Years I’m Writing About: 1972-1975, on my Facebook Page you can contribute your own words about these years.

Since 2008, I’ve participated in National Novel Writing Month, an international annual event where participants compete to see who can write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days. The event is open to all, so if you’re even a little curious, don’t hesitate to join me. And if you want to sit this one out and watch first, keep an eye on my blog this month, where I’ll chronicle the harrowing adventures,  perseverance, experiments, and triumphs just as I have in past years. Today, I’ll embark on my 4th NaNoWriMo–not because I have another stunning novel concept in mind but because I’m hooked.

November’s become a time in my creative year where I can count on the momentum of an online community to push me to race-write for 30 days, to prioritize writing for 30 days, to trust in future drafts and thoughtful editing in order to convince myself to write, uncensored and unbridled, and as fast as I can. The yearly exercise makes me a better writer.

This month on the blog, I’ll write about the inspiration for this year’s endeavor–a memoir to celebrate my upcoming 40th birthday, mine my own stories for new fiction ideas, and review my life so far in order to set goals for the next forty years.

I’ll also keep you updated on my word-count race, so you can cheer when I’m ahead and sympathize when I fall behind. Or you can follow my word count on my Twitter feed, my Facebook page, or by befriending me in the NaNoWriMo online community.

And of course, I’ll share the play-by-play emotional roller coaster of a writer gone mad, writing wildly and without care for thirty glorious days.

Get a piece of the action. There are several ways to participate in NaNoWriMo. Support the do-gooders who run this free event online by making a donation to the Office of Letters and Light on my fundraising page. And visit the The Sexy Grammarian Facebook Page to contribute your own words to my daily word count.

1667 Market St
(between Page St & 12th St)
San Francisco, CA 94103

There is something depressing about this café, and it’s not the bungling but cheerful baristas. It feels like a cave in here, and despite the diverse mix of patrons, I don’t quite feel at home. My pizza was tasty and served with a pleasant cucumber garnish, but my jaw started to ache halfway through it from the overly crispy thick crust that seems like it was supposed to be thin. I didn’t try the wifi, but I also didn’t see any easy-to-access electrical outlets. This place comes through for quick snacks and pick-me-ups, but I wouldn’t camp out here to write.

The Sexy Grammarian loves to work  on her own writing by writing in cafes, and when I do, I also like to write a review. This review has been cross posted on Yelp, where you can read all my reviews as well as reviews my clients have written about my services.