Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 7: Comma Splice
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Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for hours, the teasing was excruciating.
You can’t just stick two independent clauses together like that with a comma. You could easily cut this into two sentences:
Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for hours.
The teasing was excruciating.
But it might be sexier to make it into a compound sentence or two independent clauses separated by a semicolon:
Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for hours, but the teasing was excruciating.
Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for hours; the teasing was excruciating.
Or you could scrap the whole thing and write something even simpler. Does the excruciating teasing really need a whole phrase to itself?
Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for three excruciating hours.
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