Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 9: Missing Antecedents

Pardon me, for this blog post contains sexually explicit examples or content. If you are under the age of 18 or just uncomfortable with sexually explicit material, you may want to check out one of these sites about grammar and writing instead.

Missing antecedents can create silly and mysterious sentences. For instance:

Eroica reached out to grab my hands but then placed them back in her lap.

Okay, exactly whose hands are now in Eroica’s lap?

Did Eroica place the narrator’s hands in her own lap as this sentence suggests? What if Eroica reached out with her own hands for the narrator’s and then placed her own hands back in her own lap? We’ve got more problems than just Eroica’s shyness to worry about.

The problem here is the pronoun them. A pronoun needs a noun to refer to—an antecedent. What does them refer to in this sentence?

Eroica reached out to grab my hands but then placed them back in her lap.

Because Eroica’s own hands are not actually present in the sentence, the only them we’ve got are the narrator’s hands. Confusing, right? Let’s try a rewrite.

Eroica reached out to grab my hands, but she stopped and placed hers back in her lap.

This is just one solution. We could try a few more, but I’d rather toss out some more examples and move the story along. Besides, missing antecedents in erotica are fun!

While I inched closer to Eroica, I wondered if she felt it.

Excuse me? Felt what? Are we talking about an erection here? Sexual electricity in the air? Let’s try being more specific.

While I inched closer to Eroica, I wondered if she felt my desperation.

Sure, desperation might be a euphemism for something else, but a euphemistic antecedent is still better than no antecedent at all. Here’s one more:

She surprised me by snaking one dainty hand down my pants to stroke it.

We finally get some real action in this story, but we don’t know what Eroica’s stroking! Here’s a better approach:

She surprised me by snaking one dainty hand down my pants to stroke my swelling genitals.

The Sexy Grammarian puts out. This Sexy Grammar lesson series delivers common sentence structure problems, easy solutions, and an original erotic story that unfolds in the grammar lesson examples.

Don’t miss a single post. Subscribe now.

Get live action. Take the Sexy Grammar Writer’s Workshop.

Get live action one-on-one. Writer’s coaching with Kristy is more affordable than you think.

 

Advertisements
  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: