Posts Tagged ‘ San Francisco ’

The Story of Sexy Grammar: Lesbian Sex Tricks & Your Target Market

“Do you want to make her come?” I asked the circle of men around me. “Or do you want to make her come with your dick?”

Long before I taught entrepreneurs how to build social media campaigns, I taught a class I called Dyke Tricks For Straight Dicks at the Bay Area’s clean, well-lighted store for sex toys, Good Vibrations.

Teaching men about female pleasure anatomy showed me how to ask good questions, reach my audience, and consistently deliver a wildly popular message–that some women want more than penetrative sex from their male partners.

Inevitably, the men who attended my Dyke Tricks classes learned something about female sexual pleasure. The women in their lives thanked me with referrals, requests for advanced classes, and sometimes even flowers. And I learned how to motivate a target market.

 The Sexy Grammarian  is a small business owner who brings passion and marketing savvy to Private Sessions that help fellow entrepreneurs find the words to tell their story and sell their services. Get a free Private Session with the Sexy Grammarian now.

The Story of Sexy Grammar: Peep Shows & the Power of Fiction

I straddled the brown plastic wastepaper basket and made a kissy face at the man behind the glass. I tried but couldn’t piss. This is unusual, I thought.

Before I became a writer and tackled my first novel, I worked at a peep show, San Francisco’s World Famous Lusty Lady, a literal window into a gutter-glam world not everybody sees.
That particular day found me torn between my conservative work ethic–the guy had forked over $200 for a golden shower show–and my fear of spraying a fine mist of urine all over a tiny glass box I shared with a hundred other women. Still the new girl, I’d listened attentively to bitter dressing room complaints about bodily fluids left behind for other dancers to clean up.
Not everybody has been in that unique conundrum, but anyone can find herself stuck between a rock and a hard place with her pants down. Novelist Barbara Kingsolver says of fiction, “It cultivates empathy for a theoretical stranger by putting you inside his head, allowing you to experience life from his point of view. It can broaden your view of gender, ethnicity, place and time, power and vulnerability, all the elements that influence social interaction.” That’s what compels me to write fiction: the opportunity to tell a unique story that cultivates empathy in the world around me.

The Sexy Grammarian is a writer struggling to tell her story, just like you. When you get a free Private Session with The Sexy G, you get a teacher, a collaborator, and an empathetic writing partner to help unfold your burning stories

Mo’z Cafe: Canned Soup?

This is a 2-star review

36 5th St (near Market)
San Francisco, CA 94103

The man at the front counter welcomes me with a “glad to have your business smile” even though he’s busy. The menu surprises me, and although I haven’t tasted the soup yet, I’m already lusting after the guy’s salad next to me. Those are fresh-cooked, not crunchy canned noodles on top of that chicken salad! I review the menu while I wait. It’s abundant with food and drink choices, including beer and wine and a decent tea selection

I open my laptop. Wifi’s intact. People use this place for lunch as well as laptop work, so you can hangout and relax, whatever your café agenda. It smells good in here, and I even find the wobbly table easy to shim.

I’m happy until I have my soup. Disappointing. Canned.

I put a ton of salt and pepper in the soup, which is unusual for me. And I’m still too uninspired to actually eat the whole bowl of minestrone or get any real writing done.

Since it’s in my ‘hood, I’ll probably be back but not for food. Mo’z is one of those cafes that’s trying to please everybody by having an impressive menu, but they’d do better hiring a cook and letting that professional create a more delectable menu. Or maybe it’s just the soup.

Take yourself out to a cafe to write. It’s good for your inner writer and for the economy! This review has been cross posted on Yelp, where you can read all The Sexy Grammarian’s cafe reviews as well as reviews clients have written about our services.

Atlas Cafe: Where The Beautiful People Come And Go

This is a 3-star review

3049 20th St at Alabama St
San Francisco, CA 94110

This place has its drawbacks: wobbly tables and cheap chairs, chaotic customers with antsy kids and dogs, shoddy wifi, a shortage of electrical outlets, and Egads!—the music! I am trying to use my head—not bang it against the wall!

But I have always loved you, anyway, Atlas Café. Maybe it’s because so many beautiful people come and go. Maybe it’s the abundant magazine rack or the cheerful staff. Or maybe it’s your tantalizing and unique sandwich menu and the fact that I can get beer. Or maybe it’s the great memories. In this place I’ve written the first half of a novel and had some of the most stunning conversations of my life. So I will always love Atlas Cafe, and I’ll keep coming back, seeking inspiration.

This February, we’re romancing the writer, and one sexy way to do that is to take yourself out to a cafe to write. This review has been cross posted on Yelp, where you can read all The Sexy Grammarian’s cafe reviews as well as reviews clients have written about our services.

Cafe de la Presse

This is a 4-star review.

352 Grant Ave
(at Bush St)
San Francisco, CA 94108

I didn’t care for this place the first time I went, but that was because I despise an egg-centric brunch menu, we sat in the somewhat less-lovely basement, and I hadn’t gone there to write. The food’s a bit over-priced, the menu predictable, and the patrons all tourists.

But the hot cocoa! This place has become one of my absolute favorite little cafes for a romantic date with myself to write. I never look at the menu anymore—I just let the waiter know I’m alone, here for a cocoa, and would love a seat near the window. They always happily oblige.

The cocoa comes in a precious little silver pitcher. It’s served with a cup and saucer. If you say yes to whipping cream—It’s February! Have a heart!—you’ll find it in the cup, waiting to be drenched at your will. A tiny paper tube of sugar garnishes the saucer. The chocolate is that perfectly bitter that you might want to add sugar.

This is not a place for laptop writing. It’s for writing in your fine leather journal with your yummiest pen. It’s for pretending you’re in Paris or Prague or any European city you fancy and gazing out the window, daydreaming. It’s for a romantic little date with you and your inner writer.

This February, we’re romancing the writer, and one sexy way to do that is to take yourself out to a cafe to write. This review has been cross posted on Yelp, where you can read all The Sexy Grammarian’s cafe reviews as well as reviews clients have written about our services.

Get Inspired This Pride

Pride Month inspires me: the creative force of the gay community, the bold beauty of queer culture, the flapping rainbow flags, and the glorification of a drag queen riot that changed the world.

I love this quote about Pride, posted a few years ago by one of my favorite local bloggers, Lesbian Dad:

Ah, Pride. Hot sun, cheering crowds, thumping disco beats emanating from jumbo speakers on flatbed trucks and from a massive sound system installed in front of city hall. Lining and streaming up the street are old and young, lesbian and gay, bisexual and transgendered. Locals and tourists. Drunk and sober; clean and sober. Been there, done that attendees. Been there, done him, and him, and him attendees. Never been there before attendees, who can’t wait to do anything a’tall. The heartwarmed and the heartbroke. The bursting with energy, and the utterly exhausted.

No matter what turns you on, there’s something for you in San Francisco in June. Here’s my list of inspiring outings this year:

6/1-6/30 Benders Bar shows a retro collection of the photography of the talented and wildly creative Genea Barnes. Go have a drink for your head and a feast for your eyes.

6/4 Essence promises to be a sex party with a soul.

6/8 & 6/24 Tales of the City, A New Musical: Episodic, gay melodrama meets discoball musical madness. Armistead Maupin gets busy with the Scissor Sisters. The show’s already running, but check out the special event performances 6/8  Out With ACT and 6/24 Special Benefit with Olympia Dukakis.

6/10-12 The 7th Annual Queer Women of Color Film Festival: What turns you on? Radiant, unique voices expressed through film or an old-style theater rocked by hundreds of hot dykes? Either way, you’ll be in heaven.

6/15 Jean Dibble, Co-founder and co-publisher of the SF Bay Guardian speaks on running an independent paper in an uncertain publishing market at my local small business incubator, The Ren Center.

6/17-19 Respectful Confrontation Weekend Workshop: Stop pretending your relationships aren’t a mess, and start learning how to communicate. The gentle, brilliant Joe Weston shows you how in three life-altering days.

6/18 Out & Around Launch Party: Toast bon voyage to the bold and crazy Lisa Dazols and Jenni Chang as they embark on their trip around the world to find the SuperGays.

6/26 The San Francisco Pride Parade: This is the real deal. Get out on the street early or you miss the famous Dykes on Bikes Kickoff.

6/27-30 This Is What I Want, The National Queer Arts Performance Festival. I think the title says it all.

Inspiration’s just one of the keys to expressing yourself in writing. Get your blog flowing, your dissertation finished, or that novel out of your head in a series of coaching sessions with The Sexy Grammarian.

Day 10: Filling The Well/ Pigeon Stalking

Today’s Word Count Goal: 23,600

Today’s Word Count So-Far: 18,782

Total Word Count Goal: 50,000

 

Julia Cameron writes about the concept of filling the well in her creativity bible, The Artist’s Way. “As artists we must learn to be self-nourishing,” she writes. “We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them–to restock the trout pond, so to speak.”

I’ve certainly been drawing on my creative resources over the past ten days, and yesterday, I went out to replenish them. I went pigeon stalking.

Pigeons are everywhere, but I’ve been keeping a little list of especially abundant pigeon haunts.

I took a long walk yesterday through the Embarcadero area, Justin Herman Plaza, North Beach, and Chinatown. I watched a lot of pigeons and photographed a few too. And I wrote.

Here are my planned pigeon-related field trips this month:

  • Civic Center/Tenderloin:
    • Hibernia Bank
    • Main Library
    • Hallidae Plaza
    • various street corners
    • Civic Center & Powell St BART stations
  • the mysterious and fabled pigeon pond in Golden Gate Park
  • Embarcadero
    • Justin Hermann Plaza
    • Noah’s bagel’s
    • Red’s Java House
    • docks
    • Bay Bridge lower deck eves
  • The San Francisco Zoo
  • Mission BART stations

Any other suggestions?

Watch the Sexy Grammarian participate in National Novel Writing Month for the third year in a row. I’ll post word counts and worries here daily, Tweet about it, raise funds for the Office of Letters And Light, and host Meet Me/Tweet Me open loft writing sessions all month long.