Posts Tagged ‘ sex & writing ’

Everything You Need To Write Your Dissertation, You Can Learn From Sex: 4 Hot Tips

  1. Be specific. Academia will not tolerate fuzzy generalizations. Find the words to express exactly what you mean, and you’ll get the response you want.
  2. It gets messy. Don’t expect your dissertation writing process to fit neatly into your program director’s instructions. Find joy in chaos and spilt liquids.
  3. Get to the heart. Do whatever it takes to clarify your thesis, your study question, or your hypothesis. Then let it guide your every move.
  4. Try a new position. When things go awry, go at it from a different angle. It’s amazing how much better everything feels with another perspective.
Sexy Grammar invites the writer in you to a turned on, engaged, and unapologetic creative life. We believe that sex and writing go hand in hand and that the creative process can be thrilling, pleasurable, and satisfying. Ready for your free Private Session?

Everything You Need To Write Your Social Media Content, You Can Learn From Sex: 4 Hot Tips

  1. It’s not the size of the boat. It’s the motion of the ocean. Nobody cares how long your blog posts are or even how often you post them. What counts is that your content schedule has a rhythm that’s right for you and your readers.
  2. It’s better to play with others than with yourself. Social Media is social. Engage, interact, comment, and respond.
  3. Lubrication helps. It’s easy to get uptight about what you’re posting and how you look out there, but remember to have fun too. Flirt, laugh, and play on the Internet to draw more followers and fans.
  4. Imagination trumps knowledge. Let your creativity drive when you’re engaging in social media. The art form is so new, there’s just not that much to know yet!
Sexy Grammar invites the writer in you to a turned on, engaged, and unapologetic creative life. We believe that sex and writing go hand in hand and that the creative process can be thrilling, pleasurable, and satisfying. Ready for your free Private Session?

How Is Writing Like Sex? Screenwriter Laura Goode Counts The Ways

After publishing her debut novel Sister Mischief last fall, self-described feminist poet Laura Goode tackled yet another genre, collaborating with best friend Meera Menon to write a feature film screenplay called Farah Goes Bang, the story of a woman who tries to lose her virginity while on the road campaigning for John Kerry in the 2004 presidential election. To promote the film as well as the art of sex-positive storytelling, they’ve also launched a blog called Cherry Bomb. Naturally, Sexy Grammar had a few questions:

Sexy G: You’re accepting submissions right now for Cherry Bomb.

Laura Goode:  Yes! We want to hear about the first time you had sex. Contributions can be totally anonymous, and we’ve password-protected the page to make the writers feel extra safe. You can only get the password one of two ways: contribute a story or donate to our Kickstarter campaign. I’m so happy to be co-editing Cherry Bomb with Neela Banerjee, who edited Indivisible, an anthology of poetry by South Asian authors. I knew she’d be totally into our themes of sexuality, art, and diversity.

Sexy G: Are those the themes of Farah Goes Bang? Sexuality, art, and diversity? In another interview you managed to boil down your first novel, Sister Mischief, into three words: feminism, poetry, and Minnesota.

Laura Goode:  I think for this film it’s: three girls, two candidates, and a gun. Or maybe: a girl who wants to have sex, an election we all know they’re going to lose, and the great American highway.

Farah Goes Bang is Thelma and Louise meets Y Tu Mama Tambien meets On The Road. No one’s going to give you permission to tell the story you most need to tell.  You just have to tell it. And the story of a girl losing her virginity later on (i.e. after college) is something Meera and I have been talking about for years. In terms of the process–we’ve been through 16 drafts of this script, and we’re on number 17 now.

I believe so strongly in the value of revision, and I think having a writing partner for this project has made revision a lot easier and better. Meera and I judge all of our writing choices by each other’s reaction–did this line make her laugh?  Did you choke up on that page? And as a result, I think we really empower each other to be ruthless about our choices–if something doesn’t work, it gets cut, no matter how much one of us loves it. We’re really fucking serious about making a great movie. And I couldn’t be more glad that we took two years to write those drafts–we really gave ourselves the time to spread out in this project and marinate on it and make it a script we were incredibly proud of.

Sexy G:  Some writing teachers suggest always cutting your favorite lines.

Laura Goode: Yes!  You have to kill your darlings.  You have to murder them with your bare hands through your tears.

Sexy G:  Writing can be so gory! At Sexy Grammar, we often compare writing to sex. How is writing like sex for you?

Laura Goode:  Like sex, sometimes hammering really hard on the same point in writing and expecting it to get you to the next level just chafes after a while. You have to be willing to try new positions, new points of view, new things that are outside your comfort zone. You have to not just work hard, but work smart. I also think sex and writing are equally filled with surprises.

Sexy G: And you obviously love both activities.

Laura Goode: I do!  I love both sex and writing!  A lot!  Publicly! In both sex and writing, humor is the silver bullet. You HAVE to be willing and ready to laugh in bed and at the desk. I think sex is funniest when we realize how seriously we’re taking ourselves.  I’m sure my husband finds me sexier when I’m laughing than when I’m, like, sultrily brooding. And in writing, it’s the same.  If you’re taking yourself too seriously, if the mission of your message is to tell people something really serious–sometimes that’s appropriate, and sometimes it’s total masturbation.

And I’m about to make Meera uncomfortable, but–the best partners in both sex and writing are people who bring things to the table that you never would have thought of on your own. Meera is so that partner for me.  She is one kinky motherfucker . . . literarily speaking.

Sexy G: Many of our readers have screenwriting in mind today because it’s the first day of Script Frenzy. Any words of wisdom for them?

Laura Goode: Churn out those pages! I totally support those writers, and that’s the best advice I have–nothing but writing makes you a writer.  So write. Write like your life depends on it.  Because it does.

You can get in on the action by submitting your own cherry popping story for Farah Goes Bang’s companion blog, Cherry Bomb or by giving to the Kickstarter campaign. At Sexy Grammar, we’re swooning over the thoughtful gifts they offer their backers. Pledge $100, and you get a priceless copy of what Laura Goode calls, “the most humiliating possible collection of all of our team’s early creative work.” Pledge $1,000 and you get a role in the film!

In & Out: Full Penetration For Your Writing Pleasure

Let’s talk about penetration in sex for just a minute. Stick it–a finger, a dildo, or a penis–into a mouth, a vagina, or an anus. Move it all around. Squeeze. Pump. Find special spots. Push in deeper, harder, faster. Take it out. Put it in again. Take it out. It creates intimacy, joy, sometimes even babies. It feels so good.

The same goes for writing. Except we tend to focus on the output. Get it written. Post it. Publish it. Output. Put out. Put out again. Put out more.

For some reason, writers expect ourselves to perform a kind of sorcery we’d never expect from even the hottest, most magical sex. We expect ourselves to put out without any delicious, creative input.

So, how about some input to liven up your output? Your writing needs inspiration, information, and interaction if you really want to put out. Here are a few ideas:



    • To continue writing (output), what additional information do you need?
    • Research: Where are you going to find this information?
    • Who can answer questions for you?
    • Where can you go to inform the process?
    • When will you do the research?
    • How much information do you really need to keep writing?


    • Do you have a feedback partner?
    • Have you considered a workshop or writing group for feedback?
    • With whom do you collaborate?
    • Many writers benefit from writer’s coaching with me!
    • It’s Pride month! Come out as a writer to your friends and family this month, and watch the peer pressure push your project forward!

Stupid Sexy

Yesterday, I walked into my local Diesel store, determined to buy something for myself because their current advertising campaign has been catching my eye and making me smile. Besides, I like Diesel’s style, even if their size chart caters to skinny bitches

When I introduce myself, I make a decision about whether to identify as a sex educator or an editor, and I make that decision based on whether I’m in the mood for a high-brow conversation or a low-brow one.


If I say I’m a sex educator, the conversation is likely to get silly and giggly, rather intellectually flat. If I talk about writing, we end up talking about books or grammar rules, showing off our educations.

Sex or writing? Low-brow or high-brow? Stupid or smart?


Maybe we try a little too hard to be smart about writing. Maybe we try too hard to sound smart when we write. Maybe,when we’re stuck and cannot write, it would help to indulge a little in the stupid. That’s what I like about the Diesel Be Stupid campaign: I think it speaks some truth.


So, when you’re writing, try being a little more stupid and see if it gets your pen flowing and your keyboard tapping. Draw a stupid, silly picture. Write a ridiculous, dumb rhyme. You might find yourself moving forward.


And while you’re at it, try getting a little smarter about your sex too.

I didn’t buy anything yesterday at Diesel. Nothing else besides the advertisements in that place fit me–not the jeans, not the prices. I may be the perfect target for their ad campaign, but I’m not their target buying market.