Posts Tagged ‘ sexy sentences ’

Role-Swapping: Subjects, Objects, and a Sexy Trick for Sentence Revision

What do you think of this sentence?

Kiki handed the handcuffs to Al.

When your action is hot, but the sentence is not, try looking at your nouns and their syntax, the roles they play in the sentence.

Kiki is the subject, which drives the action of the sentence.

Handcuffs is the direct object, which receives the action of the verb handed.

Al is the indirect object, which receives the direct object handcuffs.

We’ve got some awfully sexy nouns to work with here, so let’s experiment with role-swapping. That is, change the syntax. What happens when we put Al in the driver’s seat as the subject? What is Al doing?

Al accepted the handcuffs from Kiki.

That’s different at least, but I’m still not feeling it. What if the handcuffs become the subject? What are the handcuffs doing?

The handcuffs fell from Kiki‘s hands into Al‘s.

See how the hot action of the sentence just got a little hotter? By swapping the nouns until you find the sexiest possible syntax, you can build sexy sentences every time.

The Sexy Grammarian teaches writers to create tight, juicy, scantily clad sentences and combines sexually explicit examples with grammar instruction, but she never does it alone. Writing this post, she got extra help from the twitterverse, specifically @EditorMark  @JulieFrayn @GrammarROCKS, and @mededitor. Thanks, tweeps!

Check out more Sexy Grammar lessons. Get a Private Session with the Sexy Grammarian.

Don’t— Stop . . . Don’t stop! Ellipses and Em Dashes

You already know to end a sentence with a period, and you know the other forms of terminating punctuation too. Use a question mark, also known as an interrogation point, to express a query. Use an exclamation point to show an outcry of excitement or emphasis. These are all valid ways to stop a sentence.

Edie’s feeling agitated and bored.

Will Trixie come to her rescue?

Trixie and Edie are at it again!

But sometimes a sentence trails off or gets interrupted, and we have to end it in a different way. Lots of people use ellipses and em dashes incorrectly though the rules are easy.

Use ellipses points to tell the reader that the speaker’s speech is faltering or to emphasize that you have deliberately left something out.

Trixie’s eyes wandered over Edie’s exposed breasts, down her trembling belly, and finally focused . . .

Think of ellipses as the literary French film tilt, when the lovers reach for each other across the pillow and the camera angle flies up to the ceiling, implying that sex ensues.

Ellipses can also show a speaker’s stutter, as in the next example.

“I’m . . . I’m not sure . . . what I want . . . ” Edie whispered.

Ellipses should have a space before the first period, after the last, and one between each of the three periods like this “ . . . ”  Space those dots out rather than shoving them together.

The em dash expresses interruptions in the flow of a sentence, somebody literally interrupting someone else in dialogue or an additional thought that interrupts the action.

“Oh, Trixie,” said Edie. “If you don’t stop—”

Trixie caught Edie’s lips in a rough kiss—she loved Edie’s lips—interrupting her.

Create an em dash in most word processing software by placing two dashes between two words with no spaces on either side—like that.  The software should automatically turn the two dashes into one for you.

What is Sexy Grammar?

Sexy Grammar is a lot of things. It’s the fun way I present writing tools and grammar guidelines like this one. But it’s also a philosophy—that writing and art satisfy a human urge to create, not unlike sex. Sexy Grammar is about letting your inner writer be sexy—turned on, engaged, and unapologetic. When you do that, your writing gets sexy, and that attracts readers.

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 10: Appositives

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Set off with commas any clause or word that’s in apposition to a noun if omitting the phrase would not change the meaning:

Eroica reminded me of my sister, Eliza. Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 9: Missing Antecedents

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Missing antecedents can create silly and mysterious sentences. For instance:

Eroica reached out to grab my hands but then placed them back in her lap.

Okay, exactly whose hands are now in Eroica’s lap? Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 8: Lists

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Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 7: Comma Splice

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Here’s an example of how to use your solid understanding of compound and complex sentence structures to fix another problematic sentence, the comma splice:

Eroica and I read the sex scenes to each other for hours, the teasing was excruciating. Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 6: Run-on Sentences

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Run-on sentences have too many elements stuck together in one sentence.

Eroica smiled without judgment and read me another passage this time she placed one hand on my crotch while she read and I could not hide my excitement. Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 5: Sentences With Complex Predicates

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Don’t confuse compound sentences, in which both independent clauses have their own subject, with sentences that have complex predicates, in which the second verb phrase shares the main subject of the sentence with the first and no comma is needed.

I cleared my throat and parted my lips. Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 4: Compound Sentences

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Once you’ve got a handle on how to recognize fragments and complete sentences, you can start playing with the infinite possibilities for organizing a complete sentence.

Using conjunctions and commas, you can combine elements of a sentence to create compound sentences.

I wanted to read something sexy back to her, so I took the dog-eared book from Eroica.

This is an excellent example of a compound sentence.  There are two complete, independent clauses here—sentences in their own right, with subjects and predicates of their own. Continue reading

Eroica’s Erotica, Episode 3: Fragment Sentences

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Fragment Sentences do not have the required grammatical elements: a subject and a predicate. This is a simple enough idea:

Eroica’s interest in erotica totally turned me on.

Continue reading